The following email arrived through the Altamont web site's contact form.
yo! we got a problem! i was at wendys the other dat , and this super prepy kid walks in wearing ae jeans, a holister shirt and an altamont hoodie!!!!!! what the fuck is up with that? we have to stop this from happening agen!!!!
Hm, well that's not good. We apologize for this unsightly scene developing in front of your eyes.
However, there is a solution to prevent future occurences. The following steps should help you get started:
- Buy a small pair of scissors, like the ones used to trim your moustache.
- Hide the scissors in your pocket and carry them around with you at all times.
- If you see any more goofballs like this disrespecting Altamont, you run up to them with the scissors and cut off the Altamont tags. You have to be quick though. If you have more time, just cut up their gear altogether. That'll teach em.
There! Three steps and it's solved!
Thanks for your message, Ethan.
--Altamont Help Desk