The following email arrived through the Altamont web site's contact form.
Frankly, you have a SICK logo.I was wondering if I could get some free stickers for my skateboard, maybe a poster. Hey, if you want, you can even send me a small mammal. I'll take whatever you send. And I'll treasure it for always, and torment my friends with its sheer awesomeness. I really enjoy looking at your logo. It makes little colors appear out of my socks toes when I stare at it too long, and I find that very special. Please make my life more special! I beg of you! My favorite color will be determined by the color of the item you send. So, please don't leave me without a favorite color. All of my friends already have one, so I feel left out. I Love you guys, I really appreciate all your efforts and endeavors, and I would like to support you, as long as it doesn't cost me more than 18 cents, because thats all I can find in my couch cushions right now. DANG SPRING CLEANING! As I wait for your response, I will eagerly chew on my pet turtle named Oscar the Second. Thanks for your wasted time, and understanding nature. I have problems, and might turn into a insecticidal psychopath if you don't send stickers or a poster. Help out the world and send them already. It could save a butterflies VERY LIFE.
Mr. Ben S.
British Columbia, Canada
You had me at "small mammal." The check, I mean the stickers are in the mail. P.S. You definitely have a career in creative writing ahead of you.
--Altamont Help Desk